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Raising Your Voice or Yelling at Someone
By Carl ToersBijns, former deputy warden, ASPC Eyman, Florence AZ
Published: 07/29/2013

Have you ever noticed when you talk to someone your voice actually gets louder and more forceful? When you argue with someone do you automatically raise your voice or begin to yell at people. It may be time to examine your behavior as this kind of behavior is not helpful in getting your job done and gaining compliance with your orders. One must control their tone and volume of their voices at all times to avoid misunderstandings, confrontations or unnecessary arguments.

Raising your voice is not very helpful or healthy. It creates stress and tension that is created and often escalated into conflict. Therefore, it is extremely crucial and important that you are aware of your voice tone and volume at all times in order to reduce stress, anxiety and conflict in the workplace or anywhere else you may engage in a controversial conversation.

Are you the type of person that automatically increase your voice so that you can create a situation in your favor by being the dominant speaker? If so you may be damaging your ability to be a better communicator and getting compliance more effectively. Shouting, yelling or raising your voice is a sign of force. Force that may be interpreted as aggression or coercion into compliance. Although some situations may dictate or prescribe such conduct, most situations do not need to be forceful in mannerism or tone.

Raising your voice invites interruptions. Interruptions create broken hints of communication and impairs listening attempts. This is more intense when the two people shouting or yelling are different genders as one might take this as an act to dominate the other.

Regardless of the situation, yelling, shouting or screaming is taken as a sign of aggression and invites physical confrontations. It also justifies the use of force by some as they take this as a first step of aggression or assault and intervene with physical force preempted by the threat of being struck or hit by the other person.

Therefore, it is important that you regulate your voice to a volume or tone that does not imply aggressive behaviors or dominance over the other person. One can identify a bully as a person that yells or shouts at others to get them under control and dominate their actions. The louder the voice, the higher the intensity of angry is created.

Regardless of intent, yelling or raising your voice is a method used to control the situation and download to the other person they have to listen to what is being said in order for the situation to be resolved. However, the actions of those engaged in yelling or shouting are often misunderstood and create high levels of negative feelings. This in turns tells them they don’t have to listen and comply with any words or directives given under such perceived hostile conditions.

Good interpersonal communication skills requires sound emotional control. One must practice to be calm and relaxed under such conditions to be an effective communicator. Learning how to control the situation and gaining the upper hand in such potentially violent situations takes a lot of practice and self-control and does wonders on such sensitive subjects as respect and disrespect of the other person’s feelings or situations.

Corrections.com author, Carl ToersBijns, (retired), has worked in corrections for over 25 yrs He held positions of a Correctional Officer I, II, III [Captain] Chief of Security Mental Health Treatment Center – Program Director – Associate Warden - Deputy Warden of Administration & Operations. Car’s prison philosophy is all about the safety of the public, staff and inmates, "I believe my strongest quality is that I create strategies that are practical, functional and cost effective."

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