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Perspective – is Being Unpopular a Bad thing?
By Carl ToersBijns, former deputy warden, ASPC Eyman, Florence AZ
Published: 02/15/2016

Teenagers Being anti-establishment or being recognized or tagged as a person who is going against the flow, has serious consequences especially if you are looking to be socially acceptable in a politically correct circle. These unkind, brutal and vitriol attacks are relentlessly hurled to demean your position, ideas or opinions. However, there must be something legitimate to this kind of assault on your character that is worth examining.

Being loathed, hated or despised by others has some backdrafts but it perfectly validates how people act when you do not agree with them in ideology or agenda making it more difficult for you to be heard or seen as a credible source to provide further information. The fact these people work so hard to hate you is an indicator there must be something legitimate about you.

In reality there is no enigma as to why you would be hated so much. When you are attacked personally it demonstrates there is a worry or concern attached to what you have to say. What is important is to judge for yourself whether this is a good thing or bad thing and adjust accordingly.

Now ask yourself this question: what is it about my professed and unjustified harangue, values or criticism that worries them so much? Where is the morality in this conflict and are your ideas worthy of standing up for or is there room for a compromise? Will a compromise misalign your own values and morality and is the price paid worth such a conciliation?

Is it worth a belligerent fight and defend your ideas as a whole or can you position align with theirs without losing your core values or do you do what it takes to advance your own ideas to serve the cause?

Is it possible for you to remain intellectually positive and contributing to the cause as long as you don’t surrender your core values and not alter the outcome of your position? Do you have enough leverage and legitimate tools to persuade against harmful actions or harmful practices against your cause?

If your goal is to be respected, considered smart and informed, serious and productive, you have to make sure you have the leverage to have your plan or position heard and considered for action in a meaningful way. Modern-day people, influenced by social media, corporate greed and selfish motives, are not willing to compromise on anything.

Corrections.com author, Carl ToersBijns, (retired), has worked in corrections for over 25 yrs He held positions of a Correctional Officer I, II, III [Captain] Chief of Security Mental Health Treatment Center – Program Director – Associate Warden - Deputy Warden of Administration & Operations. Carl’s prison philosophy is all about the safety of the public, staff and inmates, "I believe my strongest quality is that I create strategies that are practical, functional and cost effective."

Other articles by ToersBijns:


  1. hamiltonlindley on 02/25/2020:

    He invests in others and builds up the people around him. He is not negative-minded or hyper-critical. You can trust him emphatically. Hamilton Lindley could function, and be trusted, in a handshake world. Hamilton’s word is his bond. He studies. He learns. He listens. He remains aware of what others are saying, writing and thinking. Hamilton Lindley is purpose driven—mission-minded. It guides his thoughts and keeps his team on task.

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