Ex-Con Struggling To Adjust To Society

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By KGTV

Published: 07/16/2003

For one San Diego ex-con, crime is a way of life and life on the outside has become almost unbearable. He often thinks about getting in trouble just to get back to prison.
Russell Hartsaw, goes through the classifieds every morning looking for work. 'Unfortunately I never learned how to drive. I wouldn't make a good truck driver,' Hartsaw said.
Sitting down is not his thing anyway. The last two months he has been on a mission -- a mission that feels impossible when he stares at all the red lights in front of him.
'I go to employment agencies and they have me fill out a ream of paper work. They say, 'We'll keep this on file if anything comes open. We'll call you.' In two months I haven't had a call yet,' Hartsaw told KGTV. 'I fax out maybe 12 resumes a day from ads on the computer. I maybe got two calls. As soon as they find out I'm an ex-offender, it's, 'Oh, our company doesn't hire ex-offenders. We've had bad experiences in the past.''
Determined to get a job, Hartsaw leaves the halfway house where he has been living every morning. Even after 44 years in prison, he still believes in the American dream.
'I had it better in prison, but I don't want to die there. I never really experienced this kind of life out here, but I want to try it,' Hartsaw said.
The one thing he does not want to do is give up like he did the last time he was set free.
'In the past, I've committed phony crimes, making threats just to get back to prison,' Hartsaw said.
Hartsaw would prefer some sort of counseling job with kids.
'Every time I've done something, the court has sentenced me. I have paid my debt to society and now I want to become a part of society. I want responsibility, I want to pay my bills, I want a job where I can work with kids and keep them the hell out of prison,' Hartsaw said.
Another dream of his is finding an apartment that allows pets -- he has always wanted to have a dog, someone to take out on walks and someone to love.

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